I'm in a white room, leaning on a white wall...I look untouched, my face a blank canvas. The curtain to my eyes is wide open and vulnerability spills out from their depths.
As my eyes watch you enter, they follow your movements as you discover the white walls around me. Splayed across the room are pictures of my soul, hauntings of my darkest moments, secret desires, late discoveries, seas of confusion and despair offset with bright lights of explored heights. Against the wall, I am scared...because your face doesn't change. And you aren't saying a word. But you're looking, and reading, and studying, and absorbing, and touching...everything you see.
The room becomes as unfamiliar to me as the presence of someone in it. I think to run and hide, but my emptied depth keeps me against that wall. As you turn to leave, your eyes meet mine. You see me..just me...nothing else left to distract, and I can't hide my need for you anymore.
Suddenly, for a brief glance, your eyes let me in. I see faint echoes of what I've just done, and shadows of its meaning to you...and I feel that no words will ever come from that place I just saw. And as quickly as you let me in, you close me out and I'm back to swimming at your blue gates.
All of the immediate unknowns pile around me and fill me with fear. I look away from you and close my eyes in shame, unsure of what I've shown you and my trust to leave it with you. I feel you...you've come near me, and my teary eyes look up to you once more. Without a word, you hold my face for only a few seconds and then you're up and gone.
As I watch the door close behind you, I feel the room fill with water...washing the walls away and sweeping me into peaceful blue waters. Finally. Finally. Finally.
I took a dive...and damn...it feels good.
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